Monday, July 9;
8:21 PM
Here a few joke for u guys..
Ah Beng in the Lift(Contributed byWyman Lye)
Once, Ah Beng, Ah Lian and Ah Huaywent for dinner at the Compass Rose,at the top of the Westin Stamford.After dinner, they went to the lift,scanned the buttons and couldn't findthe button for the first floor.Ah Huay suggested taking the stairsbut Ah Lian decided to press the liftbutton "G". They found themselves onthe first ground floor and Ah Bengremarked, "Wah, you so smart, ah. Howdid you know this was ground floor?"Ah Lian replied, "Aiyah so simple yo ualso dunno ! 'G', mah .. "G" stand forgero loh!!"
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Long time ago, a rich Singapore tycoon wanted to know how happy a man couldbe if he was given one wish.
He paid 3 people to test out his experiment:
The rules were:
1. Each person could only have 1 wish.
2. They will be left on a desertedisland for 30 years.
3. Food, but not liquor would beprovided.
The first contestant, Billy Klinton(USA) asked for the 30 prettiestPLAYBOY centrefolds: " So I can makethe most beautiful babies in theworld."The second contestant, Jon Mayjor (UK)said, "I want 30 years' supply ofbooze."The last contestant ,Ah Beng(Singapore) said," I want 30 years'supply of Saa-lim (Salem) cigarettesso I can smoke until I song-song"
30 years later, the 3 contestants cameback for a press conference.Billy had with him 200 chidren and 30 estranged women. He remarked, " It has been a long sexual experience for meand I was wondering whether anyonecare to buy a child. I will even throwin the mother for free !"Jon, hanging on to a bottle of beer,was suffering from a hangover but hemanaged to utter these words. " Godsave the Beer ! The Queen can drink sea water. "The last contestant, Ah Beng, hugging on to cartons of Salem shouted, "Ni nabeh! Buay kee gia lighter!!!" (@#$*!Forgot to bring lighter!)
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A Seamen's Tale (Contributed by TitusLee)
Ah Beng, Mohammad and Muthu were atsea when they were hijacked by a groupof pirates.The pirates cornered the 3 men andsaid "Give us all your valuables!" Thechief pirate then raised a syringe andadded, "Or else we'll inject you withthe AIDS virus!"Mohammad quickly stripped off all his valuables and handed them to thepirates. Satisfied, they threw himinto the sea.Muthu was equally quick to comply withthe pirates' wishes. Similarly, heremoved his valuables and surrenderedthem to the pirates. Like Mohammad, hewas thrown into the sea.Finally it came to Ah Beng's turn. Hestared at the pirates andsneered. "You all kee see lah! (go anddie!) Inject, inject lah, you'll neverget my lolex and my JPG warret!"The pirates, showing no mercy,injected Ah Beng with the HIV virus,and robbed him of his precious watchand wallet. They then threw him intothe sea with the rest.In the water, both Mohammad and Muthu commended Ah Beng for his bravery.However, they were pretty perplexed bywhy he was unafraid of the virus.Grinning, Ah Beng answered, "AIDS Inot scared, what... I got condom!!!"
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And this is the best...
Ah Beng's Job Interview
Ah Beng went for a job interview for a sales job. When the manager saw AhBeng's colourful attire, his mind screamed, "Not this man!!"Nevertheless he still had to entertainAh Beng. So he told Ah Beng, "If youcan form a sentence using the words Igive you, then I will give you achance!""The words are "Green, Pink, Yellow,Blue, White, Purple, Black".Ah Beng thought for a while and said "I heard the phone go green,green, and then I went to pink up thephone and said Yellow. Blue's that?White did you say? Aiyah, wrongnumber. Don't purplely disturb people and don't call Black, ok?"Ah Beng got the job.
♥Clear skies will mean you are happy.♥
♥Rain will mean you're crying.♥
♥Sunset means you are embarrassed.♥
♥Night will mean you are gently holding me♥
Pass my 'N' levels with high high results 
Pass my 'O levels with flying colours and go to poly